Every time I read a new comment online or meet another woman who believes her pivot is being super smart, or hear a story of a broken family with a “successful “ woman, I feel like I need to talk more about it! Women need to be women first and foremost. I will try to give more examples and explain how it works more precisely. That is the reason why you are reading this article. Please, try to be open-minded, not question every single one of my words, subdue any thought and reaction that comes while you are reading this post.

I am a very strong, intelligent woman myself. There was a time, when, if told how smart I was, I would have been proud. I was in a male world, surrounded by men, and I was respected as an equal fellow. My brain was my treasure for several years. In our society, we have a concept that women can only be one or the other: beautiful or smart. We will come back to being beautiful, but for now I’d like to discuss when a woman makes the decision to be “smart”.

 Let Me Tell You This: Many Of Us Are So Proud About Our Intelligence That We Don’t Even See The Repercussions It Brings Us.

We don’t notice the disconnect with being the “know-it-all” in the family.

We don’t see that we are “educating” (actually, scolding) our children and husband constantly.

We don’t hear the constant “I told you so” attitude we give off.

We don’t realize how every time there is an issue, we constantly try to prove we are right to our husband.

We don’t see how every time there is a conversation, we insert a superior point of view into the discussion.

We tell everyone how to do things because we think we’re the only ones who know how to do them correctly. We constantly have problems with our in-laws, parents, or friends because our brain is in the way. But what people don’t know is that it’s not a big deal for a woman to gain knowledge. Women are better at learning things, they are better listeners then men, they obtain knowledge much faster than men.

Some women would be more than happy to tell anyone they meets what is “right”. Of course, it boosts their ego big time! Can you imagine how eager they are to show their men how to do things correctly and what is the right way?

However, do you think your man would be able to relax with you if you are constantly a “smarty pants”? A know-it-all lady? A lady who leads with her brain rather than her femininity? If that woman has daughters, what kind of role model do they have? A father in a fancy skirt, and a know-it-all mother?

What if you’re a man who comes home and sees a wife who tries to prove her point non-stop? A woman who treasures her brain the most and won’t miss the opportunity to show you your place – and how many times per day does she show it to you? How would you feel if you were under a microscope at all times?

Being A Woman Should Mean That Even If We Always Know The Answer, We Have The Patience To Guide Men To The Result And Not Blatantly Point It Out With A Hammer.

Look in the mirror. Ask yourself – what do you treasure more in you? Your brain and intelligence, or being a feminine and intuitive woman? I was a very brain-oriented woman for many years. I grew up in an environment where I had to be smart, otherwise I would be eaten alive by time and society. I, however, was offered by God a pretty good appearance that I had used in order to see how beauty affects you in life.

And, I can tell you two things: 1. When I was a brain-related woman, ALL the men I met always told me – you are a cool, interesting girl to hang out with, but too smart. 2. When I used my appearance, I heard – well, you are too beautiful, but not for us.

So I figured that neither of those actually work in life. There should be another way that is more successful. That is how at age 20 I started asking myself where is the middle ground, and why do we all tend to live in such black and white realities, and never consider the middle way? The middle is more pleasant and certainly more satisfying in many cases. I can also tell you when I was very independent and smart as heck, men didn’t want to take care of me or help me in any way. They would only help me as if I was their equal. That was it. I wanted to take charge of my life and wanted a strong male next to me.

You know why I wanted that in a first place? I was a very strong, intelligent woman and it took a real man to handle me, and that man had to be A MAN! But this also meant that I had to change myself in order to get the man I wanted. So, I started my quest at that time to determine how my femininity and intelligence could be more natural and, therefore, blossom.

Pretty Quickly I Figured That The Middle Way I’m Talking About Is Called Wisdom.

Let me show you the difference between a woman who values the brain (I’ll call her “Smarty”) and a woman who values wisdom (I’ll call her “Wisdom”).

Every time Smarty sees a mistake, she will point it out to her man and makes sure he knows he is mistaken, while pairing it with an “I told you so”. Wisdom, on the other hand, will try to support her man or pretend that nothing happened, and let him figure things out on his own. If there is a crisis in the family, Smarty will rule her way and show how to handle things properly. Wisdom will softly convey a message of possibility to do things differently while letting him ponder and figure it out.

Smarty will be teaching her kids mathematics, statistics, soccer, etc. Wisdom will create a curriculum based on her kids abilities and promote their well-being. Smarty, in her work place, will try to avoid any mistakes and be a perfectionist, therefore creating some sort of tension. Wisdom will try to create a friendly environment where everyone will feel free to be themselves.

Smarty will be teaching rules to her adult kids on how to live and raise children correctly, and Wisdom will just let her loved ones have their own experience. Smarty will blame the world and will try to change other people. Wisdom will start by understanding that she is the cause and the effect, and what will be, will be. Those are only a few comparisons I can give here, but those are few enough for you to think and see how different those two positions are.

What is the biggest value for Smarty? Her righteousness, winning over others because of her superiority, and her own sense of importance. While for Wisdom, the most important thing is to create peaceful relationships where everyone feels free to be themselves, loved and welcomed. Another difference is in what those two are receiving from the outside world. Smarty, while making everyone feel at fault, gets nothing but other people’s frustration, while Wisdom gets flowers, dresses, a ring, etc. It is not about materialistic things per se, it is about the symbolic adornment and appreciation.

A man wants to be next to a woman who supports him, showers him with love, softness, and sweet smiles. He wants to be with the one who creates love around, who is feminine, and can ask for help without reservations. Someone who brings beauty and love in his and everyone’s world. He doesn’t want to be with a know-it-all “Smarty” lady.

Smarty is the woman who denies her God-given abilities to be a woman. We are all capable of being the smartest ones in the room, but as women we have the ability to convert that intelligence to wisdom and lead as women. So many people on my site and the dialogue pages want to go on about the mistaken view that I am suggesting that women be dumb and submissive. I am not in any way saying that. I am observing that women take the intelligence they have and the femininity they have, and become wise, loving, leading, and caring women. Our intended place in the universe is to give care, guidance, and love. In a perfect situation, the universe will guide us to a man that we can care for and love. He will protect and provide for us, while we better the world with family and knowledge, and all that is within us as women. As women we have responsibilities that come with our power. In so many ways we are so strong and so amazing, but sometimes we let our ego take us away from our best path.

Be strong as women, but be a woman who is wise and loving, and not in competition to win and always be right.