Recently, I noticed that a friend, who has amazing charisma, which could’ve been used in a different way, is destroying her and her life. That prompted me to write what I’m about to share with you today.

Whenever I see a woman who is proudly announcing to the world “I’m smart and self-sufficient”, I feel sympathetic and sad for them.

Back to my friend, I want to paint you a picture and see if that resonates with you somehow. Try to recall your friend who had just left the hair salon, getting the best hair-do for an upcoming event. Can you recall her mood, her energy, her movements? In most cases, it involves lots of smiles, a nice attitude towards everything and everybody, and inner awareness and satisfaction from knowing that she looks great. Yet, she is thoughtless. That woman is just enjoying the fullness her experience; enjoyment is in every cell in her body.

Several days ago, that friend whom I was referring to came to me. We were just having brunch; she had done her nails, hair and makeup, and she was this sweet, nice person who was chirping away with a thousand words, but it was still a pleasure to be around her. Several days later, she turned on her “I’m an adult, I can do things myself, I don’t need a f*cking man” attitude, and you know what? I felt so uncomfortable to even talk to her over the phone. Needless to say, if I couldn’t handle that, no man could either; it was no surprise that she’s still single.

Anyway, I started to ponder over this phenomena and I came to the conclusion that women have to turn their brain off.

I mean completely off. Women should not think too much because they are way way better when they don’t think. You know why? Because the structure of the female brain compels women to worry when she starts to think. She worries about money, about rent, about her looks, if she said the right things, what if she were single, what if someone died, what if something bad happened, what if it rained and she didn’t have an umbrella with her, so on and so forth.

I’m woman myself and I can say from personal experience that I sometimes torture my husband with this simple question: should I do a ponytail or let my hair down? I can go on and on about why letting it down is better than a ponytail. My husband will tell me “okay, let it down” and then I’ll start the whole story all over again by saying that a ponytail is better. See? This is simply in our nature, and that’s perfectly fine. We just need to learn more about ourselves, not feel guilty about moments like these, and explain to our significant other what we’re thinking whenever they give us that puzzled ‘OMG’ look.

Let’s see how that’s true to our lives. I want to start off by describing the energy flow in a man’s and a woman’s body. In men, energy goes from top to bottom. That’s why men need and do a lot of thinking; they are very logical because of that energy flow. Even their bodies exemplify its structure: their wide shoulders and small torso tells us that their energy flows from head to toe. Women’s, however, flow in the opposite direction. Energy goes from bottom to top because she gets energy from the earth; that’s why many of us feel great when we wear skirts. Our body structure is also the opposite to men’s: we have wide hips and small shoulders to fill ourselves with energy through the earth.

Therefore, we can make the assumption that the uterus and the whole female reproductive system is the one that brings us happiness, joy, beauty, and health.

Less than a year ago, my husband and I went to listen to buchelli, and there was a woman sitting next to us. I couldn’t look away because she was glowing. My curiosity is piqued whenever I notice women who look happy and flourishing, simply because there are way too many who do not. She took out some food for their picnic (she was with her husband). She was taking care of him, touching his shoulders and smiling, and taking in this whole experience. She was clearly happy to be there with him. You have no idea — she looked so beautiful. When I tried to shift my perception of her in order to see past that glow (because most of us only see what’s on the outside), I noticed that she isn’t beautiful in the way that we commonly define beauty. And she clearly wasn’t thinking much, yet she enjoyed the moment.

Why do people think the idea that women shouldn’t think is a joke?

If you think about it, it really isn’t: when a woman doesn’t think she makes everyone around her — her man and her family — happy. Who doesn’t want that?

I started to look into this more in order to find out more about this phenomenon. I’m a pretty logical person; I needed to find a logical, legitimate explanation that I believe in before sharing an idea. So I started to dig for facts and check if they apply to myself. And I can tell you for a fact: they all work!

So, thoughts require a lot of energy. I’m pretty sure every one of us can remember a situation when we had to solve a problem, so we start to think, and at the end of the day, we become so excited and declare our stress because of that problem. The source of our stress is not the problem itself, but the fact that we had to go back and forth between thousands of options, trying to figure what to do; and our thoughts become so hectic that we almost fall ill. Ultimately, we become as angry as a street dog and literally start barking at our family members because all that thinking took up most of our physical and emotional energy.

Men, though, handle this better than women. They can break up the problem into pieces and solve each one individually. What is a problem to us is simply a situation that men can slowly unwind.

Another reason for this is because women have a pretty strong ability to form their own reality, one that is much better and more precise than men’s. This stems from women’s innate connection with Mother Earth and her energy. Can you imagine the experiences of a woman who has torrents of uncontrolled thoughts, filled with the notion that she can handle everything in her life alone, yet still have a strong, innate desire for family? It’s unfathomable how these two completely different directions can surface in a woman’s life.

My view is that these symptoms are likely to present itself in the chaotic life a bitter, angry woman. One who probably has a drinking problem, or some sort of eating disorder in order to mask her innermost desires. Look around you. How many women do you know can be described like that? It’s a scary reality, don’t you think?

So, those uncontrolled thoughts are stealing our future and basically prevents us from living today. That begs the question: when are we going to live?

A lot of women today lack life in their bodies: they don’t feel their femininity, and they don’t realize how powerful their thinking process is. Imagine if women can train themselves to control their chaotic thoughts, and during the process, become calmer and happier. Everyone’s happy as a result. Also, women should allow themselves to feel proud of their bodies; and learn to connect with, listen, trust, and cherish their bodies without any sort of distortion from the media. We need to recognize that there are moments when it’s okay to cry, that it’s okay to ask for help (boy, we all need to learn that), that it’s okay to stay in bed all day to watch “feel-good” movies (and feeling more productive after gathering our energy), that it’s okay to have mood swings, etc.

Nonetheless, all of this should be done in a controlled manner.

I’ve heard from so many women who’d tell me “I read that it’s okay to yell and therefore I’m going to take it all out on my boyfriend or kids”. Let me be clear: I’m not saying that! It’s not okay to let yourself go completely, and lose the discipline that prevents you from hurting another person who’s close to you; that’s a completely different subject.

Now, I want you to come back to our discussion and ask yourselves if it all makes sense? Do you see how beneficial this concept is? How cool it is that us women, can and should stop thinking, and let men do all of it? 🙂 We can just enjoy the ride, trust our instincts and enjoy life. I bet most of us would be happier, and have what we want in life. However, we shouldn’t forget that we need to acknowledge, recognize, and declare that we are ready to work on that. That’s the MOST IMPORTANT PART — WE NEED TO WORK ON OURSELVES.