I’ve been criticized by some people on my view of marriage and relationships per se. I’ve been thinking about how to crystalize my expressing myself better for those who read these articles. And I think I found a way to try a different approach because the topic I’m going to talk about is very “sweet” yet many people “shy away” from discussing it. Or the opposite happens and people are too open. And it should be the exact opposite. Sex is an interesting process of discovering one’s body, one’s bounties, and one’s inner wildness and sensuality. Don’t get me wrong please; I’m not saying that to be wild and crazy is what sex is about. I’m saying that it is a sacred process that should allow one to live through one’s emotions and that should be opening new sensual and pleasurable experiences.  Does it sound like something to what most of us have? I doubt it.

Let’s go back to sex itself. We all are like animals here and we all need some sort of physical interaction. It may be direct penetration (engulfing from the female side), it may be hugging, kissing only, it may be touching on the back ten times a day, or holding hands.  All of those are ways of intimate physical interaction. Whether we recognize that or not is a different question. Another side of that animalistic behavior is that we all choose each other is based on scent. If we like the smell, we fall for that person. If we don’t like the smell, we usually hate that person.

Human Beings

As human beings, we all are looking for some sort of relationship that allows us to have that interaction.  Also because we are human beings we need physicality to be supported by feelings. Therefore, we want to be loved, adored, appreciated and so on.

I’ve read tons of comments where one would tell me that they don’t need any relationship or anyone in their life. However, that person in too many cases (not always) has an online account, social media account or any types of media that allow him or her to look for a partner or potential mate. That person may even declare that they are looking for THE ONE or something like that. But when it comes to communication, we often hear that he or she doesn’t need anyone, which is not true because they are trying to find someone even, if it is just for a “ one night stand”.

Random Sex

Why do you think people are looking for a random stranger for sex but yearning for a long-term relationship? Isn’t it a paradox?

What does a man find in random sex or using prostitutes? Release only and no internal satisfaction. He can find only the fulfillment of his desires and dreams without difficulties. So, men may need basically to fulfill their physical needs and give them ease when it comes to sex. They may cherish that they can call or text to a girl and she will be there for them, and they can do all possible and impossible physical trick but a man is yearning for emotional connection (even if they do not know or acknowledge it). 

If we, women, could only understand that sex should be easier and less complicated for men to get. If we didn’t load that process almost every time we are about to have sex, with some underlying message for man and let the man enjoy that process he would never look at someone else.

A Woman’s Needs

Here we need to come close to talking about what a woman needs. Woman can also declare they don’t need a man in their life and they can tell you all day they want that they will earn money, fix the falling ceiling in the house, take a car to the shop, take care of doorknob that hasn’t been working for months, they buy cooked food for themselves and sometimes kids, they work 18 hours a day and they don’t have need to have a man next to them.  I can tell you that the same women who say that will have such an envy when looking at a woman whose man opens the door, brings flowers, takes care of knobs, ceiling, cars and many other things…. but women cannot accept it because society tells them they shouldn’t want to be feminine and should be able to such things on their own.

Let’s get back to sex. Can a woman that denies her feminine self be relaxed during that sweet process? No way, so sex becomes a part of an almost hateful process and what it does is it closes her internal connection to her physical then emotional feeling, body needs and intuition and afterward we have many women who hate their bodies, can’t hear their souls, can’t tell what THEY want (not what society wants for them) and thousands of female’s illnesses with reproductive system come from that rigid, intense, unnatural way of life for a woman. That is only one part of that picture.

Sex Patterns

Another part is that there are some women who’d love to be sexually active but they need to scramble around and have one night stands often because they either having the same life conditions that I described above or they have a nasty character and don’t know or never been counseled how to work with it in order to attract a man or the right type of man. Those same women are also yelling and throwing stones at me but for a different reason. There are other types who stay alone for various reasons, and even if all those types will often end up with a man, but do you think they will be able to have a truly deep, overwhelming deeply pleasurable sex after which one can stare at the ceiling with pleasure in their eyes and say nothing because a sweet nectar of pleasure so strong in the body that body just shakes with revealing emotions and feelings and no way any thought will come in that body, I doubt it. For women, it is very hard to start having that kind of sex. 

That sex requires total trust and lust. Open lust, not a fake sex illusion. I want you, and that is it but LUST is when you just want that one now, you are ready to roar like a lion because you want it, you want to lick him all over because you need him NOW, you roll your eyes inward because your uterus is so strong and moving inside with emotions, you invite that man, you open your body, your soul, yourself, and you and he just breath in unison and fully engaged in process without thinking how I look, is my position sexy, am I sexy and so on.  You can’t hear or see anything because you are in that process deeply and fully, and after the ultimate peak of it you are exhausted with pleasure, you lay down with no thoughts, some may cry, some may shake, some may just lay silently in an overwhelming feeling of the body.

The Idea Of Sex

No no, it is not 50 shades of grey, it is life. Everyone can have that and should it as often as possible. That is the only correct way to invite sexuality in our life. But, there is something else I expect to hear; women can tell me yes, and that but would be this.  Men often can sort of have something pretty similar to that with a partner that they have met sort of recently, but women can’t. For a female to have that kind of sex, she needs to trust a man and it requires that one principal thing: trust! A woman can not invite that wildness into her life if she doesn’t know and trust her partner. It also means she should be able to express her thoughts and that a partner will try to accommodate in all ways and not laugh at her but accept and try.

So now we are having two different approaches from two sexes and each of them leads to something that is interesting for both men and women, correct? I think if a person is healthy, we all want the same acceptance, love, safety.

Simple, yet so very complicated.

Human Nature

Therefore, in order to have a good sexual life we need a truly permanent partner for both sexes.  See, how everything is intertwined in our nature. So, the commitment and consent of marriage and men’s roles and women’s roles are not that different because when you start breaking it down to small pieces it’s all the same and we are having different bodies and different understanding and different mental structure and perhaps different physical needs but basics are the same! And as long as we accept that and move toward each other realizing those differences but treating each other with respect and patience we may be able, at the end of the day, to help ourselves and release our feelings that are hidden in a pandora box deep inside…

We just need to find a home, a partner with whom everything would be less complicated and more simple, a partner who will allow us to be ourselves, who will accept us when we cry and when we roar like lions because we either hurt or are sexually aroused, or yelling out of happiness 

And this is impossible with random strangers or alone, we are collective pairing animals.  There is not a single animal in nature who is alone and successfully lives for years. Some people will say that men are not monogamous by nature; I would suggest that men are not monogamous when their women give up their natural selves and instead become something not feminine and not within their God-given being and then, more often, the man feels he needs to go elsewhere for the comfort. My point is that women can and should be women with all of the wonderful warmth and ability to be in a life-long relationship when they embrace their sexual being and find the man they can trust and be open with physically and emotionally. This, in turn, is also what enhances a man’s essential being and is what becomes the foundation for a fulfilling life for both partners. Be open and honest as a female and your male will embrace it and be his true self too. Nature is amazing.