I have a friend who is a housewife and in the last couple of months, she has been saying things like, “I don’t want to stay home, be bored and become boring. It’s not interesting – it’s degrading”. Yesterday, I met a woman who said to me with pride, “My grandmother taught me that I have to earn money myself and not rely on anyone”. I took anyone to mean men, especially from what she was saying.

I have been thinking a lot about that commonly heard dismissive position held by some women that being a stay-at-home wife and having a family means nothing, or worse yet, that it is some sort of sad punishment for women.

I started to ponder the difference between a woman who has a family and a woman who doesn’t have a family and works – professional in some areas, earns money, has a boyfriend (or boyfriends), doesn’t have any responsibilities other than herself, and who simply lives her life the way she wants. I was in that position for years. Actually, I have been in both positions and remember how it was and can compare. Once I started to compare those two women that were both me for a number of years, I became embarrassed and frankly surprised at my own conclusions on the topic.

So let me start by asking you to choose a person and do a checklist of that person (look around you or maybe even look in the mirror). She is single, she has been for years. That woman is most likely pretty successful at work, very professional, makes decent or even very good money, enough to satisfy her needs and desires. She spends a lot of time at work, goes out with coworkers for lunch or dinner, probably gets asked her professional advice once in a while, is highly knowledgeable in her profession and raises her skills more by attending some sort of training courses. All of it makes her highly socially active and a valuable professional.

This is a woman that comes home with money and sees either nobody or maybe a for-now boyfriend. When her doors are closed at night and she is alone, that is the time when all of her insecurities and demons come out. What I mean by demons is that she suffers from loneliness. She is unsure of the future – which is so huge for a woman.

I have heard a lot of women say, “oh, good I don’t have to do (this or that)”, however, they do become happier when there is somebody they serve unconditionally and out of love, like their pets – maybe that’s why they have animals. But only a few recognize the happiness it brings or are willing to admit it.

I want to jump to a more interesting part of our conversation. I’m pretty sure that you, as well as I, haven’t thought about it much, so let’s start.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR A FEMALE IS STAYING AT HOME TAKING CARE OF HER FAMILY.

Have you ever thought of what a woman should be and what skills she has to have to be a good wife, a successful mom, and a beautiful, vibrant woman? We know what it takes to be a beautiful professional when you don’t have a family…not much, make sure you go to the cosmetologist, manicurist, take courses for your career and stay tuned in to your work environment. So let me introduce a set of skills that a woman who stays at home and takes care of her family has.

Psychologist – she needs to listen to her husband, hear his problems, take them apart- analyze them, glue them together- and so on.

Educator – she teaches her kids by her example mostly. So she needs to learn how to foster a child’s personality without killing his real nature and help the child build a strong foundation in order to prosper in the future.

Manager – she needs to manage the entire household, making sure everything and everybody gets whatever they need to be on time and so on… something that we usually get taught in business school.

Chef – she needs to make a variety of fresh, delicious meals daily so everyone’s taste buds are satisfied- that’s an art!

Housekeeper – she needs to clean the house. It’s not fun but if you want to do it fast and productive, you need to really learn how to do it. How to do laundry and not ruin your husband’s t-shirt because he put a stain on it, or how to take a carrot spot out after the child’s breakfast. How to iron things so they last longer and look better, these are some of the biggest challenges and time consumers.

Event Planner – she is the one who buys tickets to performances, movies, makes sure she is current with her children’s interests, taking them to whatever event they are interested in. She also is the one who comes up with plans for herself and her husband- it’s a talent and requires an enormous amount of organizational skills.

Secretary – she is the one who helps her husband with errands if he needs it, making sure he has all he needs for a productive workday.

AND LASTLY – SHE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF- TO BE THE QUEEN OF THE HOUSEHOLD…

How about all that?

I bet you had never thought about that before! Me neither! Before I wrote this article it took me a couple of days to have a real realization and deep appreciation for women. I got so embarrassed by my own arrogance, thinking that I know more than anyone, that I can do more than anyone, that I’m a good looking chick, that I can dress nicely… and that idea that I can continue forever. Bottom line is I was terribly embarrassed by my huge ego after that realization.

There is not a single woman who put on pants and is trying to win in a man’s world who can come even slightly close to a woman who is truly serving her purpose and fulfilling her purpose of being born in a female body, a woman who doesn’t go against her nature but rather goes with her nature. Yes, it does require a woman to put her own selfishness aside and serve others but that is the higher purpose of being a REAL WOMAN.

I hope that this torrent of thoughts was helpful to you and that you are pondering the subject because this is what we all should do. We should change so we rebuild our female powers and become strong, proud, beautiful yet warm, happy, creative. Trust me, the world will become better.