Traditions. What does that mean to you? What thoughts do you start having after you read this? Did it trigger something in your memory?
What Are Traditions?
When I hear the word “traditions” it evokes so many feelings, memories, and thoughts. It touches me so deeply that sometimes I feel like I’m on a different planet. Funnily enough, traditions for our society are on a different planet.
But I’d like to talk about it with you. When I was growing up – like some of you, I was rebellious and sometimes didn’t want to follow traditions. I thought they were silly, stupid, or took too much time. For instance, every child had to go to summer camp, “grandma’s house,” or something of the like, for at least three weeks out of their whole summer vacation. Or girls would be sorting grain with older women who would be talking about life. While doing that, girls were learning about life and listening to the experiences of the elderly, and also in this process they were learning how to sort important things from the bad. When an older woman would be making dough for bread or pancakes, she’d be doing it in her special way and a girl would be standing and watching what her grandma or mom was doing and that is called a family recipe today because it’s only done one special way. A boy would go fishing with his dad and his dad would teach him how to dig up the right worm, what the difference is, and how can you tempt a fish into catching it etc…that’s how most kids learned.
With Traditions and Without Traditions
I remember feeling lonely after spending many years of my life without keeping my family traditions. At that time i didn’t attribute it to traditions or the importance of human beings following something. I didn’t think that our neurological system needed anchors, but by having those anchors we feel safe, and if we feel safe we can perform better in life.
In my youth, I didn’t consider all of that. I was young, beautiful, popular…. And absolutely lonely with my phone and pager going nuts from calls….
I started questioning many things at that time but the understanding of how important traditions are came much much later.
Keeping traditions, however, is not that easy. And just by doing something mechanically the spirit of traditions is not going to fulfill you at all. So it’s not mechanics, it’s the meaning behind them!
For instance, did you know that tablecloths and napkins were a part of not only a specific event, family, but it also showed your position on the social ladder? By specific rings, people were making specific statements, and some of them were named based, and used only once a year or so…. Look at us right now… how many of us are even using tablecloths?!
Oh, ok, ok… some but how many of you actually have a few that you change during the year for a specific events or celebrations? Let alone napkins- we get used paper towels because it’s easier to throw them away than to wash them… right?! See, that’s how some traditions got lost. When I first started doing napkins and tablecloths for my family it did feel weird but now it’s the only way we eat. It brings you up a level. You feel differently and with everything around not helping you to raise your self-esteem but the opposite. If I were to change that for the better by only incorporating linen napkins and tablecloths I’d do it all day long for my family and myself…wouldn’t you?
Traditions are important! I started paying attention to every time when I was a part of somebody else’s tradition and when I felt different. Define different you ask… I felt cozier in a way that makes sense. I automatically got sucked into whatever had to be done at that moment and I felt happier and grounded.
I Don’t Have Any Traditions, What Can I Do?
Then there came a moment in my life when I realized that I carry no traditions myself, and when I thought of family and kids and I got very concerned thinking about the future of my family. What made me think about their future was I was thinking what the basic foundation for kids would be. What would be their anchors during their life? How would they seal their life experiences? How would they find their footing in this world where many things are causing people to slip into disappointment or depression?
I realized that the best way would be to create my own traditions in my family. So I did. For instance, one of our traditions is eating together daily. I understand that sometimes schedules are different but you need to try. It can be any one of the major meals or even a tea break later in the day. You need to find a time that works for everyone and just start doing it. At first, it may not be a huge success, but later, little by little, everyone will start feeling different and participate – you just need to be persistent that’s all. My kids are still at a pure age so I can see exactly what it gives to them. Trust me, it’s worth it…It makes a huge difference in their emotional security.
I was also observant of people with robust family traditions. Not the people who follow them just because, but the people who follow them because, over everything, people indeed feel better. What do I mean when I say, “feel better” you may ask… I mean, people have less anxiety on every level. They’re calmer, they’re more efficient with everything they do, and they are more kind. No matter how long one can sit in meditation, meditation doesn’t bring kindness and love into one’s heart. You can calm your mind while doing it, but kindness in the heart brings actual doings and one of those doings is having safety nets in one’s life. Keeping family tradition is one of those nets.
I have daily, seasonal, and yearly traditions and my kids anticipate them. It brings them a feeling of safety. They know what’s coming, they know what they will be doing and they get excited and proud. They don’t look at it as routine…it’s quite the opposite- It brings them comfort. Also, I explain thousands of things to them during our traditions and they are learning a lot of life skills and lessons just by participating. They learn life lessons through actual doing and I personally think that our society needs more doing. We are so good at talking, even better at texting, and propelled into social posting but not enough actual doing.
Do You Want to Learn More?
So I would encourage you to remember if you grew up with any traditions and whether are you still keeping them or not. Have you created your own and are you continuing it? How does that make you feel? Stop for a second and think about it. It is very important to stop and think in silence…without extra noise from the outside. Would you like traditions in your family?
If this topic is something that you’d like to learn more about let me know. If enough people are interested I may do a webinar to help you understand, choose, and incorporate traditions in your life… Something that you’ll carry for yourself, your family, your grandchildren, and for generations to come.
Traditions are important! Don’t disregard them even though they may seem obsolete to you.
Traditions are and instruments by which we pass along respect, love, appreciation and a sense of belonging.
Traditions are fundamental and if we don’t have our foundations- How can our “life building blocks” stand?