How many of you think that you are the primary driver on a road with thousands of cars? How many of you think that you are better drivers than the person in the car next to you?
I’ve driven in many countries and only here in the states am I constantly smiling on the road because of the interactions between drivers. If you get used to being present, observant, and calm, you may see how human comedy and tragedy is at play on the road, as well as maybe even a psychological lesson.
I’ve been bringing many different examples to you in order to help better explain certain points of view. Here I go again; read this article, sit back, relax and imagine yourself in the car driving with all those drivers that you perceive as “crazy”. I want to start with a proposition of them being “crazy” from your standpoint.
Why do you think they are crazy? Don’t you think you may be crazy for them? What’s crazy? Who defines it?
Now, I’m going to bring the relationship aspect to it. When you choose to be in a relationship it is as though you are on a freeway where there are certain rules. In order to avoid crashing into each other, you should follow those rules. Many of us are okay following rules without crashing but once in awhile a person does something we perceive as incorrect, we get angry or call them crazy or some other situation unfolds. Why do you think you don’t look crazy to others? Do you think that you are normal? I will tell you a secret…none of us normal. You know why? There is no such thing as normalcy. What’s normal and who defines it? So, if you choose to be in a relationship, be prepared to embrace a person with all her/his twists and turns.
Next question I’ll ask you is when a driver, say, speeds up and makes a light that you wanted to make but didn’t because you hesitated or got scared, what do you do?
Honk? Yell? Get angry? How do you express what you are feeling?
When you are in relationships, how many of you want to be a certain partner? What do you say if a partner wants you to be a certain way that you’re not? Would you like it? If you are not the partner that he or she wants you to be, resulting in your partner yelling and getting angry with you…would you like that? If you don’t like it, then why are you being extremely controlling and possessive of another person, especially since you wouldn’t like being in that position yourself? Who gave you the right to behave in such a way with another person? Do you own that person? Does that person own you? No. So, let them be the way he or she is. Let your partner speed up when she or he needs to. Let your partner do his thing without having YOUR high expectations get in the way. Bring safety to your relationships so every one can feel secure and not scolded or punished. Let both you and your partner be your true-selves and you’ll see huge benefits of it later.
Now, if a driver is driving at a high speed on a line that doesn’t exist, but violates the rules, bringing harm to anyone besides himself, would he need to be stopped?
What would you do? Yell? Get angry? Show him his place by blocking the road? Box him? Hit the breaks to stop him?
In a relationship, one person can be more successful in something than the other. Or one can move toward one’s goals faster then another. That speed might be triggered by something we don’t necessarily know but react to. How do you react? Get angry? Become competitive? Do something to prevent your partner from succeeding? Make your partner feel guilty for something because his absence is required for him to succeed? Yelling at your partner, telling him how miserable you are or pouring out some other emotions because you can’t handle another person doing something that you don’t have guts to do?
Those are a few comparisons that give you another way of looking and enjoying our lovely LA traffic. This hopefully gives you food for thought when it comes to your readiness to have relationships or master a relationship you may already have.
A good relationship is a road with unexpected turns, with hills and downhills that we sometimes don’t know about. It’s a road that sometimes gets dirty because of rain that has just passed or because of its own conditions that we didn’t know about before. Here we’re required to learn how to drive a particular way with a particular set of skills in order to drive through this road successfully. When this happens, we must be open to listen and learn from another person in the car or see what the other driver is doing and simply repeat or turn on logic or open our heart. It all requires us to stay present and never judge others or ourselves; simply mind your own business. What do you think will happen if you are driving on a road you haven’t ridden before and someone on Facebook told you that they heard that that road is impossible to drive and not worth it?
If you drive- you won’t make it -period, no one made it so far. So you think you have courage to drive? I doubt it… my point here is mind your own business when you are in relationship or about to have one. Make sure you know what YOU want to have in your life or what you are looking for. Stick with it-period. Don’t waste your dreams and desires on other people’s Instagram or Facebook pictures, they are that are NOT REAL life. Mind your own business. Clear your goals, take down fences, open your heart (don’t waste time, sharing your dream with other people. They won’t encourage you but discourage) and drive your own road…. trust me, YOU WILL MAKE IT!