The other day my husband and I went to get a cup of coffee in one of our favorite places. While we were enjoying ourselves, we overheard a conversation between two women. Initially, we didn’t pay any attention to them, but this girl was so loud. So eventually we ended up overhearing their conversation, even though it wasn’t our intention.
As it turns out, it was a conversation between a matchmaker and a client of hers. After realizing the situation, my first thought was curiosity as to how my husband might respond. Apparently, he must have had the same thought about me because we ended up making eye contact and laughing. Anyway, getting back to the women’s conversation, she was in the middle of describing what she was looking for in a man. She was giving a long list stating that he needs to make her happy, be educated, be fun, generous etc. I’m sure you all can fill in the gaps with the rest of the list on your own. This list, however, leads me to question how each item on her very extensive list related to her own life. I only heard her demanding needs and didn’t hear a single flaw or adjustment she was willing to make to meet the man she was describing. As the list continued to grow, I got sadder thinking about the future man she was going to meet and how empty their relationship was going to be.
This leads me to pose the question: Why do we always seem to act so selfishly?
I’ll tell you why. It is because we live in a world dominated by media that offers society an extremely distorted image of what gender has to do with roles in society. Women have completely forgotten that they have tons of weight and power not only in their own life, but in society as well.
To take it one step farther, women have immense power and control in a spiritual manner as well. This world belongs to women in the sense that we can do anything we want – we can create what we want. If you are a women reading this, take a look around you. Do you like your world? This is what you’ve created for yourself.
Some additional background information – I grew up in Europe, where women act in more “traditional” way. When I was younger I would get together with some girlfriends and cultivate gardens in the middle of our yards. We would plant flowers and figure out how to take care of them. All the while we would laugh and talk about life, children, and pretty much whatever we felt like talking about! From a male perspective, it might have looked like nonsense, but we needed it in our lives. We may not have seen each other every day or even considered each other friends, but we always showed up to our gardening circle. To this day when I see the flower “Iris”, I become nostalgic thinking about those women.
So what were we doing in those gardening circles? We were giving love to the plants we were taking care of, giving love to each other and ourselves. Those women made themselves happy without waiting for somebody else to.
Most of them had nice families, children, and careers, and were able to share their love to all aspects of their lives. They were healthy and happy. They would laugh, talk and share common interests. All this formed a sense of comradery. Women by nature are the ones who should be going out to help others, and themselves find happiness and love. In order to find beauty and love in your own life, you have to find beauty and love in the world and the world you’ve created for yourself.
Do you want a relationship? Go out! Start looking for somebody you can help and bring happiness to! Take care of that person, the way you want to and love them, the way you want to. Touch their heart and let them touch yours, without expectation. Beyond that start loving waking up in the morning, the tree you pass during your daily jog, the coffee you drink every morning, people stores, everything!
Start bringing something positive into your world. Stop sitting on your sofa, sitting in front of a TV with a cell phone in your hand complaining to a matchmaker about what kind of man you want in your life. They won’t find you, love, only you can find love.
This is our power, a female’s power, that many of us fail to realize. We can change anything in our lives just by standing up and offering unconditional love.
Now, I’m not asking to completely change your lifestyle and become a different person, running around literally loving everything they see. I’m asking you to think about what I said in an analytical manner and apply it to your life as you see appropriate. Improve aspects of your life you see fit. For example, if you’re married and your husband has a habit of leaving clothes outside of the closet, take some time each day to collect the clothing and put them in the closet. Don’t do it out of spite. Don’t do it out of anger. Do it because you want to.
Try it! Let me know how it works in your life. If you don’t have a partner right now, but want one, my best advice is to start to by loving everyone around you, including yourself. And what do you do when you meet somebody you want to be your potential boyfriend? Think of what you can offer him. Give him a smile and ask how his day ways. Make him feel happy and so on. After a bit of practice, you’ll see that you can make things better in your life, yourself.
