I just got back from a social event where I saw a very successful woman. She has been career-oriented and aggressively working for a very long time. I know for a fact that she doesn’t let fear of gender discrimination stop her in her success endeavors. She was impeccably dressed at the event: classy, combed, and wearing beautiful makeup. Even with all of this though, there was a strange aura about her, almost like a gray veil over her face. She seemed colorless, blank, and almost genderless – aside from the skirt she was wearing. I’ve known this girl for a very long time, and I could feel that the progression of her life was a direct reflection of the progression of her emotions and inner self.
This change made me think about how fast people are willing to sacrifice their actual dreams and desires in order to achieve a societal definition of “successful”.
It made me examine how quick we ignore our intuition in order to win a battle at work. Battles that don’t have winners, but only broken metaphorical swords – leading to emptiness. Some women these days seem to be fast to demolish their femininity and throw it out of their lives despite the female destiny. Then they wake up 10 years later and throw the blame for their unhappiness on others. They never seem to look at themselves and question their own past actions. Why? Because of fear!
Do we fear financial instability? Lack of comfort? Lack of love? Lack of success?
Here in the U.S., we have a strange idea of happiness due to the fact that there are such huge standards surrounding the American dream. A house, white perfect teeth, a good car, perfect skin, etc. The standards of American success have been put so high that anything under this would mean failure. Fear drives us to derail our dreams and aspirations and chases a dream that is not our own. We fail to ask the right questions – questions about our egos and our twisted perceptions of life and happiness.
I’ve been touching on
very simple yet challenging topics in my previous articles because no one seems to realize what society has done to us – women. Society doesn’t want us to be strong and feminine. It doesn’t want us to be in charge of our own life or our families lives. Society pushes the idea of competition, money, and perfection. With all these standards in place, how is someone supposed to acknowledge and face failure? Yet, with this being said, this is exactly what we need. Look back and look at your losses. The earlier we start, the better chance we have.
Women, by nature, are built with a certain amount of fears. It is only natural. If you don’t have fears you are either a saint or a fool. Fear is a part of life, it is necessary. Fear gives us the strength to grow.
It allows us to analyze a situation for what it is and enjoy life. To put it in perspective, imagine you were diagnosed with cancer or diabetes. Usually, on that day we decide – “Now I’m going to live life to the fullest, enjoy each day to the fullest”. Why do we have to wait till fear of death hits us before we can reach this state of mind? Do we really need such a cruel reminder to change our lives?
Did you know that our bodies react to negative thoughts in a similar way to if it were to actually happen? In my article “Turn Off Your Brain”, I urged women to stop going in circles in their minds. We need to start to remember our real goals and aspirations and go get them. It might be a drastic change in lifestyle, but if you make it through it will be worth it. If you fail during the transition, don’t put yourself down. Get up and think about why you failed, and how you can change things the next time around. Don’t let your ego run its course for you, let your soul and heart lead you. We weren’t built to be miserable. Let’s try to straighten our paths and open the true door to happiness.
