Some time ago I wrote an article about sex in relationships and that garnered lots of feedback from all of you; Negative as well as positive.

Beyond Buzzwords and “Correct” Phrases

Communicating with you makes me see how little we really know about sex. We all know buzzwords and “correct” phrases but in reality, we don’t understand what they mean. What’s even more concerning is that we don’t know what they mean when we try to integrate them in real life. In life with your specific partner, in life with your lifestyle and patterns…I’ve decided to clarify a little bit and maybe it’ll make some people’s picture more clear and make them more able to understand what to do and why sex is so important.

Misconceptions About Sex: Are You Really Connecting?

There are, of course, people who are putting sex in its correct place and in fact are having healthy sex as it should be happening. There are also a bunch of people who are doing everything else but calling it sex, which, in reality, if you look closely, has nothing to do with sex. 

Let me give you a few examples so you can actually see what I mean and maybe you will recognize yourself or some of your exes in these patterns.

What those people do who are calling it sex…

• They are studying how to perform general ideal sex…instead of looking at their partner and actually figuring out his or her reactions to something and what they actually want.
• Trying to learn tactile contact through sex, applying weird knowledge and movements from books instead of hugging their partner, scratching his or her back, and patting each other butts- just performing those very simply alive movements.

• Blackmailing each other, or refusing to have sex instead of simply sitting down and talking to each other about what made you get so upset That you don’t want to have this pleasure.
• Showing off in front of their exes how popular they are and that everyone wants them instead of just licking their wounds in their own comfortable place till it’s healed completely.
• Trying to get a partner pregnant when they realize he or she doesn’t see them as a partner or as a spouse (men also do things like that 🤷‍♀️) instead of finding a partner who sees them as a partner or spouse, or figuring out what in themselves makes their partner not see them as a partner or a spouse and then changing themselves to become more appealing.
• Trying to do something correctly and right instead of just paying close and true,  genuine attention to a partner.
• Watching or imagining sexual pictures in their heads or watching erotic movies instead of learning their own sensations and working with their own bodies.

Misusing Sex Impacts More Than You Think

One of the reasons why I decided to write this post on this topic is that I want to draw your attention to what else is happening when we use sex as a weapon or the importance of it is misplaced and we actually have some sort of problem with it. If you are one of the people who has one of those things, I guarantee you have difficulties with something from this list or with all of them. 

• Creativity disappears
• Libido disappears
• Partners disappear 
• Sensuality gets blocked
• Sinking into deep waters of all kinds of complaints, demands, grievances, etc.
• Self-esteem is going down faster than you can imagine…

I’m not saying that sex is something you must put ahead of everything. No, it’s not what I’m saying here and yes, one can live without it for sure. No one will die because they don’t have it and sometimes …yes, yes, you read it correctly, sometimes one actually should take a break in a way…

Sex correlates with other areas of our lives that are responsible for success. So, if we have any sort of problems with sex we won’t have the proper success we want. The better our sexual lives the better our finances. Why do you think that is? 

I know I’m going to say something that probably will trigger lots of, it can’t be that attitude but relationships with money in many ways are similar to sexual relationships. 

The Dual Nature of Sex: A Tool for Healing or Harm

So now, think a bit and tell me if playing with such an important tool that Mother Nature gave us for our own growth and progression is really worth it. I can also tell you that with the right mindset about sex and the correct methodology, one can make their wishes come true through sexual energy… So as you can see sex is actually a very powerful tool for us human beings and as always is the case with a correct tool, one can use it for good or for the opposite. The old saying about a knife is the most famous. “You can give life with a knife and you can take life away. It all depends on who is holding it” Remember?! Same here…

Sexual Intimacy: Balancing Desire, Respect, and Connection

Therefore, I’m here to try to convince as many people as I can to look at and treat sex with respect and care. Take off an extra layer of importance from it and treat it as essential, a simple tool for communication and getting pleasure and learning about yourself through that. Don’t use it to punish a partner or to get something that you want by manipulation. It won’t do you any good in the long run. In fact, it’ll bounce right back in your face at a time when you will be expecting it least… That is how it works and deep down you know that.

Think about what is said here. Take a deep breath and read this again. And maybe again.