Sex is one of the hottest topics of conversation. But why do we put so much emphasis on it, and not on other essentials like sleep or food? These three—food, sleep, and sex—are fundamental to our well-being, and when they are balanced, life feels fulfilling. However, when any one of them is neglected or overindulged, we suffer. Yet, we rarely acknowledge this. Instead, we avoid questioning ourselves about the imbalance because admitting we’re off course would mean facing uncomfortable truths.

Despite the rise in therapy and mindfulness practices, most people still don’t approach these three areas with a healthy attitude. Conversations about sex tend to be superficial—driven by competition, self-esteem, or loneliness. People talk about sex as a way to feel important or needed, but often, these discussions are empty, lacking real connection. Rarely do I hear open, honest, and healthy discussions about sex.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m in the wrong circles. But it seems that genuine conversations about sex—free from judgment or exaggeration—are hard to come by. And when people do talk about it, they often focus on one aspect: performance, attraction, or excitement. What’s missing is the understanding that sex, like food and sleep, changes with age, experience, and the deeper connections we build.

When you’re young, discovering your sexuality feels like unlocking a new world. It’s thrilling, and at times, reckless. Many of us stumble, perhaps contracting STDs or getting involved in unhealthy relationships. For some, this experience teaches them to protect themselves and grow more cautious. Others become swept up in the rush and chase that thrill, sometimes leading to promiscuity or deeper emotional issues.

At that age, you’re likely not thinking about balance or self-awareness. You’re just reacting to impulses, letting hormones drive your actions. And that’s fine—everyone goes through it. But with time, the focus shifts. As you mature and settle down with a partner, your relationship with sex evolves. It’s no longer just about satisfying impulses; it becomes part of a deeper connection. It becomes more about mutual care, comfort, and understanding.

In a committed relationship, sex may no longer be as wild or sweaty as it was in your youth. It may not come with the same acrobatic intensity or the desire to impress. And that’s perfectly okay. Relationships are about finding safety and comfort in one another. The need to prove something fades, replaced by a sense of relaxation and security. That doesn’t mean passion disappears, but it’s transformed into something more meaningful and sustainable.

One thing couples need to realize is that sex will change, and that’s natural. You might not have multiple orgasms every time. Sometimes, it’ll be one good one, or maybe none at all—but a quiet cuddle will be just as fulfilling. The important thing is to release the pressure to perform. Men don’t need to feel like they have to “prove” anything, and women shouldn’t feel the need to fake pleasure. Both partners need to respect each other’s boundaries and be honest. Faking anything leads to a loss of respect, and both will feel something is off even if they can’t pinpoint what it is.

Contrary to popular belief, couples aren’t having sex all the time. Life, with all its responsibilities—work, kids, bills—takes over. When you’re single, your focus might be more on your personal needs and desires. But in a relationship, especially a long-term one, you’re managing so many aspects of life together that sex can’t always be at the forefront. And that’s normal.

What really matters is the quality of the connection. Sex becomes another form of communication and care. Whether it’s a quick encounter, routine, or something more exciting, the key is that both partners are satisfied emotionally and physically. Balance is the goal, and it’s the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

So, is it normal to not have sex as often as you might have when you were younger? Yes. Is it normal for it to be less intense sometimes? Absolutely. What’s important is that your body and emotions are getting what they need, without creating unnecessary drama or pressure. Life is full of complexities, and sex is just one part of it—one that, when approached with balance, can add to your overall happiness and peace of mind.

At the end of the day, a fulfilling relationship isn’t defined by how often or how intense your sex life is. It’s about feeling connected, cared for, and safe with your partner. When sex is just one part of a balanced life, the result is a deep sense of contentment. And that, ultimately, is what makes life truly satisfying.