Many of us admire the success of certain companies. We see how businesses flourish under correct, strong leadership. This type of leadership leads to a company moving in a positive direction. However, most of us have seen companies with good promising ideas sink as fast as the day changes to night. How do we explain it when we see it? Bad luck? Bad organizational platform? Bad timing? How else do we justify these experiences? Have you ever personally thought about what’s required to be a successful company? How about the same question asked of a relationship in your life? We see them as a business but we don’t treat them as so. Why is that? Because business is about money and relationships aren’t…well some are…but both promise the same thing. Both are built on some sort of reciprocation or expectation of one moving towards an end goal, to have someone who can help in areas we are not capable of handling, but desire to flourish in and expand.

Why don’t we speak about partnership in a couple through business lenses especially because tons of people are using “partners” to define their families?

One of the most interesting things for me is that people call a spouse or loved one a partner but don’t treat that person as one. In many cases, men expect their women to work, cook, pay taxes, make sure he completed his tasks, take care of her car, take cake of the house payments, remember important dates for herself as well as him, foster a relationship between the parents, as well as their children if they have any. Men expect their women to be sexy, beautiful, stay up to date on current events, be able to plan their day/weeks/days off/vacation as well as events for kids and so on. When it comes to the expectations, these are all ok, but what about what men are doing in order to help women accomplish all this? Do they provide a pair hands to help with house choirs? Come up with events for the children to keep them occupied? Provide money to make sure dinner is on the table? Money for all kind of costs? Provide computers and electronic devices to stay updated to current events? Provide cars or drivers to do help do multiple things during a day? Money to go and make their spouse feel sexy and beautiful? What exactly does a man do in order to expect this from a woman?

Women on the other hand, expect men to read their minds and know what they need or want during a specific time, they want men to earn and bring money, they want men to take care of the house, car, payments and everything that relates to money. They want presents for any occasion or even when there’s no occasion, they want to feel loved, they want to hear about it, they want their men to be sexy and romantic and show all that 24/7. It doesn’t stop there, many more wishes and desires tend to pop up that most women don’t even know they had, yet they expect men to stay in tune with their desires and fulfill them at any moment.

Tell me what’s wrong with that picture? Can you see how comical it is and how unrealistic it is?

Now, why do we talk about partnership but we are not following through? Do we even know what it is? Or do we pretend not to know because it is convenient to blame everything and everybody else, hiding our own problems under the “feminism” umbrella?

Let’s take a look at what partnership is in business. It is when one has visionary ability to see a picture while the another has a better ability to execute that vision. It is when one sees that a partner doesn’t have the skill to understand the concept of, perhaps, legal docs, but the other knows it well. Then the one who doesn’t know simply delegates and waits patiently while the other one would deal with that. I don’t need to go into details but in many cases this is the essential backbone of a successful business.

I’m not about business here.

How can we see this partnership in a family?

It is shown when you guys talk beforehand about what your strong sides are. Or what would you like to do. If a woman knows that dishes will be washed after she makes dinner, especially if she hates to do them, she will be more than ready to make that dinner. As a result the family will enjoy a good calm, tasty dinner rather than a dinner created from her anticipation of cleaning dishes which is already making her frustrated.

A man should take care of payments so she doesn’t have to go over them every month, going crazy trying to organize things, which is not what a woman’s brain is for. Allow her to take care of her hair or face or take a bath so she will be happier compared to being miserable paying bills, it is important to be able to talk and figure who does what, making sure it’s not drama or a significant event caused by something you could’ve just simply talked about. The most important part however, is to follow your agreement. You need to understand that everything would be working properly ONLY if you follow through as long as it takes so your life circumstances won’t recall for you to change things. Then it will be a different issue but for now, please think which areas you’d like to change or enhance in your family. Think how you can talk about it with a partner in order to change it. Make sure you do your part and let him or her do their part so you will see changes in a partner and a quality of your life. That will affect your self-perception significantly as well as your spouse and as a result your family dynamic. One day you may wake up, stretch with pleasure, turn to your partner and hear those almost forgotten words: “Baby, I love you.”