How often are we told that we must live in the here and now, and not in the past or future? 

In my private discussions, I often give people the same advice.

It’s easy to get lost in whose goal I am trying to achieve, and if it is even my own. It is easy to forget yourself when all the voices in your head are constantly talking, yelling, debating, and sometimes you feel so overwhelmed that you want to take a break and not think about anything at all.

The other day, something happened in my life, and I realized, that I had been running a marathon that was only partially my own. When the run was over, I was frozen with pain. For hours, I was not able to function and felt so overcome with drowsiness, even though I had not done a single thing that day – the news was that shocking. 

I realized that that was it, that was the end, the end of a chapter in my life. Instead of celebrating, I was filled with deep dull pain. 

However, because I am a professional, I have the tools I need to help myself and overcome the pain. 

I was having my afternoon coffee, looking outside the window, when I realized: I had spent so many years trying to fulfill my life’s purpose, but I was not going about it the right way. 

It was not mine. 

It was my early life and pain that I had avoided for decades that impacted the way I went about executing it, that was why it was so painful.

Even though I knew its importance, I realized that I had not lived in the moment, even when I thought I did, but in this case, it was too painful.

There are times when you start to realize things that come at you like a storm, and you can’t help but getting so soaked and tired that you just want it to end.

I know that my journey is a life-long one, and daily, I readjust and realize new things to get used to until, boom, I get hit with something big, another chapter of my life over.

But you know what?

It’s not so bad. In child development, we call these periods in our lives “transitions.” Many children struggle with this. But no one talks about this phenomenon in adults or how we struggle with the transitions in our lives. But we struggle too!

But we are not allowed to cry or throw a fit. When asked why we are upset, we just slouch and shrink our shoulders.

We are not allowed to, but we struggle too. 

Because I am a foreigner in this country, I feel that I am constantly transitioning and learning how to behave like in a children’s playground. Around moms, dads, schoolteachers, etc. About how to submit documents, how to file taxes, and more. We often don’t think about it but transitions are all around us. They let us drown in our own insecurities and let us fly in our imaginary beliefs. 

It is not easy, but through my own pain and realization, I am able to tell you that it is true.

You need to live your life and it should only be YOUR life. You need to figure out what your path is. Whether that be alone or with a consultant, you need to be able to figure things out about yourself. Your quality of life will improve, you will be able to feel peace, and kindness and love for yourself will emerge. Not because you have been meditating, but because it will be a direct effect of the work you are doing inside. 

My dear people, all I ask is that you find a way to your own desires and live today, enjoy the present and be present. Otherwise, you feel a huge disappointment when you face the door on the other side and it may be too late then…