The other day my husband and I had coffee in one of our favorite places and we overheard a conversation between two women. Not that we were paying attention intentionally- we were very engaged in our own conversation but the girl was so loud and so demanding in her way of talking that we couldn’t help but to listen.

It was a conversation between a matchmaker and a woman who wants to be matched. My first thought was I was curious to see what my husband’s reaction would be and I guess he had the same thought because we looked at each other and both started questioning what the other was thinking. But this is not my point. My point here is her description of what she is looking for and my thoughts about what she said… as you can predict 🙂

So, she was giving a long list of what he is supposed to be. Stating that he needs to make her happy, he needs to be educated, fun, and generous, a long long list of things that I think everyone would come up with on their own. But … it led to me questioning what that long list has to do with Real Life?

I was hearing only her demands and didn’t hear a thing about what she was willing to give to this hypothetical man. The longer the list became the sadder I was for that man as I realized that he would be facing a huge, empty “give it to me” relationship.Why do we forget that this world isn’t only about us!?

How do we ignore that women have roles that we have forgotten about!?

Unfortunately, because things are so twisted in our media and society has been given such a distorted set of values and twisted views on gender roles,  woman have completely forgotten that they have tons of powers. I’m not talking about magic or deviation or voodoo, or any other spiritual stuff that gets weird …

I’m talking about a different power, Inner Power. This world belongs to women and we can do anything we want, we can create anything we want. Look around, do you like your world? This is what you’ve created yourself, not a John Smith from next door.

So, back to that topic! I grew up in Europe where women still were pretty feminine and I remember how they would get together and build a small garden in the middle of the backyard of our building where they grew flowers. They would pick flowers, they would figure out how to take care of it and so on. Meanwhile, they would be talking to each other about life, children, thoughts – whatever us girls talk about. To men, it looks like nonsense but we need it badly in our lives.

Those women may not see each other every day or be friends like we think of a friend, but they loved their small gardening circle and they always showed up for it and we always had nice flowers. Btw, I still love irises because of those women.

So what were those women doing? They were giving their love to those plants, to us, to each other, to themselves, to the world (through the beauty of the plants). They made themselves happy without waiting for somebody else to make them happy. Those women had nice families, children, careers and they had time for pouring their love out to their families and those plants. They were healthy and happy.

In my country (fortunately or unfortunately- however you look at it) you can see pets on the streets. So some women who ended up being alone would feed and take care of several cats, feeding them constantly, making sure they were ok and so on. They would just build some sort of cat sanctuary right on the street and they would take care of pets. Later, somebody else would join them and there would be several people who would have a cat to take care of and therefore, they would laugh, talk, and would have things in common that made them all feel not-so-alone.

Women by their nature are the ones who should be giving instead of demanding.

Women are the ultimate beauty and we can make that world more loving but we need to love this world first.You want a relationship? Go out! Start looking for somebody you can bring happiness to, take care of that person in any way you want. Love them, touch their heart, let them touch yours without expectation. Go out, start loving trees, coffee, people around you, stores, everything!

Start bringing something to this world rather than just sitting on the sofa after work, watching some soap opera and having a sort of dinner out of a plastic container and talking on the phone with a matchmaker about what kind of a man you want to have. You want him to give you love? Go ahead, give your love to everything that surrounds you. This is one of the ultimate female powers that we need to realize. We can change a lot of thing by just doing that- unconditional love and constant love.

I’m not asking you to change your life and go crazy running around yelling that you love everything, no. But I am asking you to think about what I just said and try to exercise it in your life. If you have a family, instead of waiting for a husband to change and do something, start doing it yourself. Start with simple stuff, for instance, make sure his things are always in the closet. No matter how many times a day, go around and collect them if he has a habit of leaving them everywhere. Just start doing it without mumbling to yourself what an asshole he is. Instead, thank him for doing it in YOUR house, not in somebody else’s. I’m not kidding, I’m serious here.

Start mentally saying this to yourself every time you collect his stuff and see how the situation in your family changes. Try it! Then tell me how it works in your life. If you don’t have anyone but want to have someone, start loving everybody around. Instead of looking around critically, love everything and when you meet a potential boyfriend think what you can do for him. Come up with an idea. Give him a smile that encourages him, ask him how his day was and give him a reassurance of his greatness and so on. And after a little while, you’ll see the Prince Charming that you were looking for rather than an offended man that you yourself destroyed and scared away. I think it’s worth it to try … what do you think?

Go ahead, send love…and make things better in your life yourself.