One of the biggest causes of confusion in our society stems from a lack of knowledge about life.

The Perplexing Maze of Modern Life

On one hand, we have tons of knowledge and libraries of books but we stopped using them because we carry an encyclopedia around on our phones called Mr. Google. However, we lost the ability to ask the right questions because we don’t get around to asking ourselves if we should learn more about life…and we don’t get around to this question because we lost the sense that it was ever a question to begin with.

We are terribly lost and confused and no one talks to us about it or shows us the way, and unfortunately, there are very few examples of people who have a happy life together…

Seeking Answers in Unlikely Places

Why does no one tell us what marriage is based on? No, I’m not talking about fancy words like trust and love, etc….No, I’m talking about reality…Like give me real advice, don’t give me words that I don’t know the meaning of…What is love? How is it going to affect my marriage? I will love for 2 years but what if it runs out? Then what? No, I’m tired of it…Now I want real robust advice that will help me through years of unknown experiences that I’m going to put myself through. I have no idea how to share a space with a person, how to share space with a person and a child….no one tells me about it. No real advice…nothing … I don’t want to hear about meditation and calming down…I want something that keeps me sane and going for years and that makes me feel good, loved, and feel like loving back. I want to feel like a partner and I want success in family among many other things…What is that?

Understanding Love and Marriage

I was having this kind of conversation with myself many many years ago. Before my grandma died she used to have some conversations with me about real life…what to do when this comes to your life or that…Maybe that is the reason that I’m truly skilled when it comes to life…because I had her, even if only for a little while, but she was able to plant some seeds in me to help me grow into a person who can now help others…

Looking around I see lots of people who are totally confused, who don’t know what to expect, and who are scared of getting into relationships not only because of their own trauma or trauma caused by their parents, but who have a lack of understanding of what relationships are. Their expectations are set so high that they collapse under their weight before even starting their life together….some look into your eyes and ask, “Is it the way you expected it would be?” Others look on in disbelief that it’s even possible and ask how I did it…what to do first, then what came second….

Lessons From the Wise

I have a piece of advice for all of you. It is a very simple answer to many of the struggles for couples and it’s simple to achieve, takes lots of pressure off, puts gender roles in their correct places, calms everyone down, and competition lowers to zilch. Happiness and satisfaction and the rate of achievement will get higher every day. I can tell you every single family that has implemented this has been on an upward trajectory of happiness since they began, but I must tell you from the get-go that it is not easy, especially if you are used to a messy life…but with a little stubborn effort, you’ll get there in no time…

Here is the secret word…ready? Organization. The key to a successful family is organization. I’m not talking about cleaning the house or organizing dishes…no I’m talking about organization between partners. Before you get married or right now if you are married and have problems, you have to sit down and talk about who does what:

Who is responsible for the dishes? Who is responsible for making the bed? Who is responsible for paying the mortgage, electricity, trash, schools for kids etc? Who is responsible for travel? Who is responsible for leisure? Who is responsible for laundry? Who is responsible for groceries? And etc…

The Transformative Power of Clarity and Communication

Make a list of all the things that you have in your life and go over it with your partner and assign each of these to either yourself or your partner. I’m not saying that if you are responsible for dishes your partner can’t help…no, of course, he can help you but you’ll be in charge…he can ask if you need help or you can ask for help but there will be always one who is in charge of making a final decision on a specific topic. Once you go like that for a bit you’ll see things are getting easier in your family and you get more things done. There won’t be a subject to fight about, there won’t be a subject to outdo your partner with, there won’t be a subject to bicker about…everyone would have their own responsibilities and that is what makes our lives work best if we only mind our own business, give it a try. You’ll be amazed at the outcome you’ll get.