One of the biggest reasons people have difficulty in their relationships, sometimes even without an actual problem, is because of emotional dependence. This can be anything from a dependency from family members, loved ones, people we know, to even our friends’ moods.

For instance some relationship examples could be:

• She’s in a good mood and she is being very sweet and nice. I love her so much and she loves me so much and there are pink hearts all around us.
• She is in a bad mood today…Why is she in a bad mood? Is it because of me? Am I the cause? Does she not love me anymore? If she doesn’t love me then I don’t love her either.
• I’m sad and depressed today, how come she is so shiny and positive? What’s wrong with her? Looks like I can’t share anything with her when my life isn’t as positive…
• I’m happy and she’s depressed today…what’s wrong with her? She’s being very whiny and clingy and I don’t want to be with her. I don’t love her like that. 

I can give you many more of those examples when peoples’ feelings don’t align. Not always having the same emotions at the same time is totally normal but the outcomes of these alterations are dependent on how we handle those situations. 

It’s best to try to understand that sometimes people get caught up in their emotions such as fear or offense and they can become locked into a truly bad emotional roller coaster. When this happens any sort of humor would be a very bad idea. 

Many people think that other people’s emotions somehow connect with love, friendship, acceptance or respect towards them, when in reality there’s no connection because a persons’ mood just changes. It’s like the weather, it’ll change hourly. We have nothing to do with it and this is very important to understand. You shouldn’t take other people’s emotions personally because it may not even have anything to do with you. If you take it personally every time someone’s mood changes you strap yourself into every person’s emotional roller coaster and you’ll eventually break. You’ll find yourself constantly exhausted, emotionally void, disappointed, and upset. Eventually you’ll notice yourself picking a fight over nothing and this will hurt your relationships for no reason. This is what happens when you allow yourself to misinterpret human nature and when you allow your own deep traumas to take control of your life instead of taking control yourself. This brings you to a losing position that can be avoided. 

There Are, However, Stable Feelings. For Instance:

I decided I want to be with this person! I love this person, I respect this person, and I have their back! I accept them the way they are and I want to be with them no matter what! I want to have kids with this person and I am happy because this person is in my life!

The most important thing to understand here is that you have those feelings no matter what mood you or this person are in on any given day or hour. Don’t jump to any drastic conclusions about your relationship with them just because they are being emotional, moody, or having a hard time. The stable feelings mentioned before are the foundation that will keep everything you’ve built with this person on solid ground. The hard work and effort it took to build that foundation are the stakes that give you a sense of commitment and altruism. 

Someone’s mood doesn’t mean, “I love you”, or “I don’t love you.” (Excluding toxic relationships when someone plays with those types of feelings.) A persons’ mood can come from any number of reasons or combination of such, like: Tiredness, lack of sleep, hunger, thoughts, stress, they may need to focus on something else and can’t pay attention to you right this second, they may want to be alone, or they may want to communicate. There are numerous reasons why someone could be in any mood and that person could be having a difficult time controlling their own emotions. In those situations it’s usually best to politely ask what’s going on and if they’d like to talk about it. Other times it may be best to give them some space. In order to know what to do in those situations you need to “tune” yourself and communicate openly. Once you own your own emotions you’ll truly be able to communicate openly with little to no fear.

It’s very important to understand how to communicate simply and efficiently. For instance:

• I’m sad right now and I can’t understand your jokes… I’m sorry..
• I’m hurt by your words…Can we please change the subject?
• When you are ready, would you like to talk about what happened?
• I worry…

And so on…

We need to learn how to feel and communicate with a person through our hearts and through our inner love.

“I love you no matter what”, “I respect you”, “I need you no matter what”, those are

messages that are important for loved ones. Even though you may think they already know it, it’s still nice to hear and helps to reinforce the things that matter, especially in an argument. 

Many of us do yoga and sun salute sequences and open our hearts through meditation. You can sit and meditate for hours but it means nothing if you don’t apply it in your life! Look around, one’s life is the relationships one has: friendships, loved ones, parents and anyone else…. Relationships are a real treasure that many of us misunderstand and miss out on. 

If we at least try to be aware of it and try to implement this idea, maybe more people will be less depressed, feel lonely, or be lonely over holidays. Eventually we are all here connecting with each other, and social interactions make us happy.

Life happens, emotions happen, but we all need to learn to navigate our boat through any storm. Once things calm down we should be able to talk them through it and continue on with our present life without hurting each other unnecessarily.

It’s incredibly important to understand that people have moods and emotions that can change like the weather, but the ones that really matter, the ones that come from the heart, those commitments give you a steady gaze into the other person. These feelings are not based on hormonal imbalances, explosions, conditions, or expectations, they’re based on something real between the two of you and they will last much longer than any mood.