A couple of things happened the other day that inspired me to write this article

I was giving my son a bath when he started to slip from my hands. The bathtub was slippery and I struggled a little to find balance and hold him. My three months old son recognized that something was not right and looked at me with a little bit of a concern. However, I stayed calm and smiled which made him stay calm as well.

Later that evening, the fire alarm went off during dinner and of course my son got startled and began to cry immediately. I hugged him tightly and sang to him to soothe him. At first, my son seemed confused and didn’t know how to react, but then relaxed and found comfort in my voice and touch. This made me think about how we all have a need for comfort. How deep is our need to feel that “everything is okay”?

We have this need in all stages of life, but it shows in different ways. As children, we find comfort in our parents and depend on them to tell us “everything is okay”. When we become adults, we want to look towards our partner for support during hard times.

We all know that the human touch is important, but how important is it to be reassured that everything is okay?

Holding and being held is comforting to both parties. Getting hugged feels good because you are receiving support and the person doing the hugging feels good for being there for you. Both are tremendously important for both parties to develop trust. But how many of us realize that?

If we truly realized that, do you think we would use it for our own benefit? Now you’re probably confused, but I’ll explain it to you.

How many of us hug another person in need and act like it is for them when actually, it is for your ego? One could think, that he or she is in a better position because the friend is the “needy” one. Our society sees this term so negatively. It means weak, wrong and so on. But is it truly a bad thing? What’s so wrong with being vulnerable?

How many people do you know who are in touch with their emotional side and are honest when they need support? You should hold a lot of respect for them. When asked “how are you”, many of us automatically reply “I’m great/I’m good”…. but is it honest?

How many of these people “doing great” look to other things for comfort? People have invented thousands of ways to not be honest with themselves and all those lies lead to dark secrets. They hide at home, fully absorbed in watching tv or indulging in bad habits such as drinking.

People know what it’s like to be comforted by another person, but what happens when you’re on your own? What I am offering you is a solution to be self-sufficient. It may be difficult in the beginning, but with time it is a far better, easier solution.

Every one of us experiences a tremendous amount of different feelings every day. Some carry negative feelings from their childhood and instead of working through them and fixing the root of their issues, they just live with it. Many of them live their life feeling miserable all the time but don’t know how to change it. They don’t ask themselves  “How can I live a more fulfilled life?” or “Why do I feel this way?”

First, we need to realize that whatever feelings we are experiencing at the moment are perfectly okay. Someone somewhere is experiencing a similar thing.

Everyone should learn how to be in touch with their feelings and live through them, not blame them. For example, if you come home and feel angry, you must first recognize that you are angry! Go to a mirror and say it to yourself: I’m feeling angry. (You can also lie down and acknowledge your feelings internally, but I think it is far more efficient if you are looking in a mirror.) Talk to yourself and let our what’s fueling your anger. Once you’ve done enough of that, you will feel a bit empty inside. This might cause you to even cry… And that’s okay! Just let it out. Let yourself be sad and experience your emotions. Riding through your feelings are important and do whatever you can to better help do that. Turn off your phone, don’t talk to anyone, lie in bed….. just feel your feelings!… Not too long after, you’ll feel better and happier. It’s not healthy to store negative emotions inside of you as it will hurt you in the long run…

After you practice this for some time, you will how it changes your life. You will feel more relaxed and next time you’re upset, you will be able to identify what’s going on internally and easily fix it.

You can only depend on yourself for 100% support. If everyone learns how to heal the soul during hard times, many of us will become healthier.

At the end of the day, we all want to be happier and healthier…. maybe this is the first step to fully living life and accepting yourself…