I’ve been talking to many people lately who shared their concern with me about not going anywhere in their lives. Whether this is in relationships, work, or any area of their life, there was a trouble of some sort. Listening to those folks, I realized that many of you have had the same experience which is why I have decided to bring this information to your attention.

It is very hard to not only recognize but acknowledge our own lack of power/ effort/ understanding that we are going nowhere, the right way, or without the correct person. Many of us start hating everything and everyone around, especially if those are happier than us. We think the whole universe is against us and everyone is to blame, but us. First, we need to understand that the universe is actually inside us. Whatever you have in your life, whether it is a miserable relationship or not a successful career – it is a reflection of what you have inside. And here we are hit with a question, what is happiness? Happiness is when you are understood and you understand. When you don’t have that happiness inside, you are hit with a block of problems. 

Why do we lose happiness? The biggest problem is that we betray ourselves. Yes, we betray ourselves at every level. And in almost 90% of cases, we betray ourselves by picking a wrong person as a spouse! We pick a person based on our hidden agendas, that almost always backfire on us. Those agendas are they are either fun, good looking, lots of money, status, have a house, etc. Sometimes we are afraid to face this even with ourselves when we are alone, that’s how scared we are to really live OUR true life. 

Many of us are looking for happiness, but only a few can recognize that happiness comes only after one creates it for themselves. It’s work, but the benefits of that work are so worth the work itself. 

What do we feel when we betray ourselves?

We don’t feel ourselves.

We have no idea what we really want.

We not only don’t understand ourselves, but we don’t understand others as well.

We have no idea what we desire.

We are achieving things and finding out they weren’t what we wanted.

We are bored.

We drink, sometimes a lot.

We cheat.

We are not happy.

We are raising unhappy children.

We can’t find what we would love to do.

We have no or almost no health.

Do you suffer from anything stated above? 

What is happening if we betray ourselves by picking the wrong person? 

To start off, our men don’t grow in terms of income. So, if over five years you are together and his income hasn’t changed – you need to look into your relationship. Some people are so afraid of changes that they prefer not seeing that your chosen partner is not making you happy and fulfilled.

Another sign is you still can’t find your path. You are here, there, and everywhere – but nowhere at the end of the day. You are not even happy being a woman in a female body because you have no comfort and recognition. You have no spouse to bring you flowers or give something small to you that puts a smile on your face. So basically what we see here is perpetuate misery. 

Why are we doing that to ourselves? Are we living a trained life? Do we have another one waiting for us? Will it start soon or have we lived our only life away? Why have we done that? 

Why don’t we want to see that once we pick a correct person with the correct intentions, our life will be completely different? It’ll blossom! It will fulfill us. It’ll bring us a completely different reality. By choosing a wrong person to be with, we are also locking ourselves into not feeling anything. So many of us are reading a self-help book in order to figure out what’s happening.

So many of us are going to doctors to listen to what they tell us about ourselves, rather than figure things about ourselves by ourselves. We do yoga in order to get rid of our locked muscles in order to release this or that blocked emotion and then we go back to our life with a wrong person that creates a new even bigger block. We are willing to sacrifice ourselves because we are afraid to face a challenge that may bring us a tremendous happiness. It may bring us failure as well BUT only if you are not willing to truly look inside and start working on your own skeletons. But we choose misery rather than work on finding that true happiness. We are losing ourselves and later in life when we can’t hide it anymore we divorced and it becomes painful and ugly, but if we had done it earlier or didn’t even make a decision

To be with that person, we could’ve avoided all that. We might have found our path earlier. We may have given birth to a few kids, we may have been happier. Maybe we should stop this torture right now, talk to ourselves honestly and see where we truly are, unless we are too comfortable to change anything and misery have become too of a close friend of us.