Aging. It’s not that I’ve thought about it, it’s more like I’ve never thought about it.
Even though I’ve always had girlfriends and people around me who were obsessed with the way they looked I didn’t understand at the time or questioned it since I thought “it’s ok” because I didn’t have that problem. I have never thought about aging or death the way most people do. Many people are afraid of aging, gray hair, wrinkles, and everything else that goes with it.
I’ve always had more important things on my mind. I do notice it, and know that you need to take care of yourself to make sure your body serves you the best it can until your last day but it is completely different from what I observe around me.
For whatever reason , there is a common belief that the body and especially the female body (with men it’s the same but different) has to be in the same shape, size, and weight, for your entire life. Basically, once you pass puberty you should freeze and be forever young, beautiful and drunk… Forever sporty and slim..
Decoding the Unique Masterpiece Each Body Paints Over Time
People act as though our bodies are like an immaculate, static vehicle that will never change, never deal with weather conditions or wear and tear, then are surprised when appropriate changes happen. It’s not reasonable to say a person’s sole purpose in life is to change, but much like a vehicle undergoing adjustments when taken to another country, our bodies also necessitate adaptations. Surprisingly, this common-sense analogy is often overlooked. It’s essential to recognize that our bodies are not static entities, but dynamic vessels that respond to the shifting landscapes of life. Just as a vehicle may require modifications when exposed to new environments, our bodies undergo necessary adjustments as we navigate the diverse experiences and challenges that come our way. It’s a natural and inevitable part of the journey, despite the prevailing notion that our physical selves should remain untouched and unaltered.
It’s not realistic but we don’t think about this in that context, right?!
Our bodies are treated like billboards that were put up in front of us and we are just looking at them on our way from point A to point B. But for what? To be mesmerized by it? Amazed? Stunned? What? We use our bodies for amusement in a way, not for living in them.
When you live in your body it’s a different experience with different outcomes and wear and tear on that body is going to happen. Your body won’t be the same as it was when you were young.
We treat our bodies as if it’s separate from our psyche and us but it’s not so…
The reality is that our bodies are a necessary part of the whole structure called a ‘human being’ or a ‘man’ and the body is constantly changing, shedding cells, hair, you name it-we all know the basics…and there is no point for me to remind you of them…however, I am going to remind you that our bodies are constantly forming and changing under at least couple of factors;
Natural Occurrences
Where our body ages, wears, gravity pulls down our tits, collagen leaves our bodies (making us obsessed with Botox, collagen supplements and anything that contains collagen. Hello and welcome to the whole collagen industry). Our genetics influence the form of our body, aging type, predispositions for sicknesses , genetic health issues are catching up with everyone else’s who didn’t get wrapped up in other aging groups.
Health Factors
Some people remember health factors and somewhat allow the body to change because it’s kind of hard to beat weight gain especially if it’s due to predisposition for diabetes. And then have to deal with sudden weight loss and the sagginess that comes with it, and people more or less accept that as well as other things like it. However, the beauty industry, gene industry, and food industry are all trying to tweak things there as well…
Life Experiences
This factor is rarely thought of and maybe some people aren’t aware that it exists. Our life experiences actually shape our bodies. It gets shaped from within. From changes we go through, from experiences we go through and it changes us from the inside out. Our present needs, any obvious or hidden traumas, opportunities, stress, sadness-all of those take a toll on our bodies. Our bodies don’t exist separate from all of it, they don’t exist separate from our psyche… Which we forget about and underestimate thinking we are ‘better and smarter‘ than nature. We perceive our psyches as an obsolete model of a blender that doesn’t need to be paid attention to. We can’t put this aside and forget that a human being cannot live away from his family. We are not living in the forest and we do learn how to walk and talk by watching our own species. It’s what makes us human. No one has learned how to talk on their own in the forest yet…
It also means that when we go through our life experiences that different periods of our lives require different body types. We can get slightly softer, bigger and more fertile in order to allow a new life to take root in our body and not only deliver but raise a child. We can get a little bit thicker and heavier to show that we have some weight as a defense mechanism in order to protect ourselves as a result from some form of abuse or otherwise that has already happened. We can become stronger with more endurance to fit into a persona that wants more power, in order to reach their goals. We can become more playful with more plasticity to convey strong inner sexuality or we can become very slim so it can disappear, be self destructive…..or the opposite if society idolizes thinness.
And those motivations are not the ones that happen consciously… They are rarely conscious in fact but it is all about our body and for whatever reason we need exactly what we have at this moment in our lives… like it or not but we need it. Size, shape, form everything you have today fulfills our inner necessities and needs that are helping us today and/or is a result of our experiences we have had up until now.
Eating Habits
Sometimes it can be seen not through the body itself but through our eating habits. For instance when life is so difficult and we are struggling, the only way to relax and get pleasure is through food, otherwise there is nothing positive for a person in life. We all need to remember and remind ourselves that our body is a natural extension of ourselves not just a piece of meat and because it’s a prolongation of us we should constantly work on ourselves and our body will follow. The body will change based on the experiences we go through in life as well as our inner world’s needs.
A Symphony of Change
For different stages in life we may need to wear a different “outfit”. This is something that only YOU are able to understand about yourself. No one else can tell you what kind of body YOU need at this moment, and you’re the only one who decides what “outfit” you are going to wear.
Maybe those 10 pounds you gained last year helped you to feel happier. Maybe losing lots of weight indicates all of the inner battles you went through or your inner growth that you needed to go through many decades ago but didn’t and now you finally became brave enough to face them…and now we are seeing the results.
Maybe those soft tissues saved you from a difficult separation from your loved ones. Or maybe it was having kids, and in five years the process will be finished and your body will get back to a completely different shape.
Embracing the Body’s Evolution
Our body is a map that shows us what we have gone through. Everything that we have reminds us of our falls and our triumphs. From our childhood scars to everything from, broken bones, depression, child delivery, surgeries, cuts, etc-
Everything you can see on our body and it doesn’t mean that we are better or worse based on our body shape. It’s our history that is part of us and can’t be in any other way.
Our bodies are not for others, they’re not billboards, our bodies are only for us… and every change is happening as a reaction to something else… nothing is happening just because. That’s not possible.
It is a difficult quest for ourselves and what is happening to us and with us while we are living our life with all of the emotional baggage that we sometimes want to hide or pretend we haven’t had. Your body won’t let you lie. If your life needs the body you have now, let it be. Don’t try to change it or beat yourself up- try to understand it and take care of it the best you can. Maybe in a couple of years it’ll change. Your body is trying to give you the best experience it can with the best protection it can.
I look around sometimes and see people who haven’t aged, with bodies that have never changed or haven’t changed in decades and honestly I feel so sad because it tells me that those people disregard their bodies and miss out on the experiences the universe has prepared for them. I also observe so many eating habits that show me how people are trying to hide their need for change and it takes so much effort all so that they can end up with a body that looks very tough and somewhat appealing but for whom? For what purpose? What did they come here to experience? Why don’t they trust the universe to walk them softly holding their elbow and with care through the life it prepared…
No, people think they know better and fight it… and where are you going with all that? What are you going to achieve?
Look at your body now… See the beautiful protection it has given you and realize that honesty is best. That will give you more time to realize what this race you are running is for.